I got a chance to test this mission out with @Gorgosaurusrex today, and I thought it was great! I was worried that moving the smoke every turn might be a lot of book keeping, but it really wasn't. We used two markers for each line of smoke and it was easy to keep track of.
We did encounter one unclear point about the low visibility rule, which is whether or not it affects units that do not require line of sight to shoot (a Whirlwind, in my case). We agreed that the smoke should not impact these units for our game, but you may want to add a sentence to the rules just to clarify whether it does or doesn't.
Overall, the mission was easy to setup and play, and it added a fun new element that isn't game-breaking. I enjoyed it!