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Random Video and Gif Thread


Iraf

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So if you've been bitten by the Gaslands bug like I have (and if not, why not?) you've no doubt been scouring your kids' toy boxes, toy stores, and the internet looking for cool Hot Wheels. You no doubt came across Bone Shaker... Well, just to prove we're not the craziest Hot Wheels fans out there, behold:

The real hard part about playing 1:1 scale Gaslands is getting the templates into position.

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I won't deny that the above sequence is extremely well edited, skillfully shot, and with very good special effects... I think it's a terrible disservice to the original scene, which is actually one of the only sequences of realistic swordplay in the entire Star Wars franchise. I've been fencing since I was a teenager (sabre), fighting SCA heavy and cut-and-thrust combat (sabre, broardsword), and studying HEMA (sabre, broadsword, longsword) for about a decade now. I'm probably one of the worst people in the world to watch a movie with if that movie is going to feature sword-fighting in any way... I have a tendency to yell things at the screen. 

1:48 - Vader walks into measure (the distance at which you can attack your enemy, but also the distance at which he can attack you) when Kenobi is clearly in a longpoint guard (chūdan-no-kamae in kendo). Vader isn't in defensive posture at all, he's saber is facing down and away from his opponent. He's standing completely wide. Kenobi could end the fight here and now with a simple thrust.

1:52 - Vader telegraphs his attack like he was swinging a baseball bat. Rather than end it, instantly, with a thrust to Vader's exposed abdomen (or pelvis, legs, neck, and/or head), remaining in the longpoint guard he was already in, or stepping backward to void the blow, Kenobi instead DROPS HIS GUARD(!?) and steps into Vader's line of attack(?!)

1:53 - Vader over swings, slashes the wall, and recovers by swinging at Kenobi's blade instead of at Kenobi. Meanwhile, Kenobi swings at Vader's blade instead of attacking Vader. Always conveinent when your opponent in a swordfight cooperates with you like this... Otherwise someone might get hurt!

1:53-1:59 - Flynning! Take a shot for every time they attack each other's sword instead of their opponent.

2:00 - Blade Lock! And they use the blade lock as a chance to talk! Drain the rest of bottle.

2:06 - Kenobi decides not to thrust directly into Vader's exposed and unguarded face (or throat or chest) and instead pirouettes backwards! 

2:07 - Vader watches Kenobi's spin and polietly lets him finish his dance instead of attacking. He drops his guard, again, stands completely lateral to Kenobi and walks close to him.

2:08 - Kenobi almost sems to accidentally thrust, but stops himself before he accidentally hurts Vader. Careful guys, these things are sharp!

2:19 - Vader uses telekinesis to throw a box at Kenobi from behind. Kenobi turns around completely to slash at it. Vader politely declines to take advantage of his unaware opponent and does not attack.

2:25 - Vader is now on fire (even though Kenobi was the one standing in the fireball?) Both men continue to attack each other's swords.

2:26-2:33 - Flynning, pirouettes, and baton twirls! Chug, chug, chug. 

2:34 - Both men stand with their backs to one anopther and baton twirl. I'm going to need a liver transplant.

2:35-2:42 - High speed flynning!

2:43 - Camera cuts away from the swordfight.

3:12 - Camera cuts back to Vader and Kenobi who flynn around a corner and then quickly go for a blade lock so they can have some dialogue.

3:30 - Oops! Vader has knocked his opponent down, better do some pirouettes and disarm myself to give him a momement to stand back up. You  wouldn't want to do anything rude like lunge at him and thrust him through the tosro. Someone could get hurt that way.

4:00 - Flynning with lumberjack chopping swings, that's a whole new kind of flynning we haven't seen yet in this fight.

 

 

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I'm assessing the situation of two trained soldiers facing each other in a combat situation with lethal weapons drawn, decades of personal grievances against each other, and an both intending to stop the enemy from interfering in their mission (Kenobi's mission is to ensure Luke and the rest can escape the Death Star, Vader's mission is to prevent them from escaping). 

But, okay, Kenobi doesn't want to kill Vader because he's the Good Guy. That explains why he begins the fight in a defensive posture, avoids taking some easy one-hit finishes, and so forth. Doesn't explain why Vader fights like an idiot and it doesn't explain the pirouettes.

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2 hours ago, Ish said:

I'm assessing the situation of two trained soldiers facing each other in a combat situation with lethal weapons drawn, decades of personal grievances against each other, and an both intending to stop the enemy from interfering in their mission (Kenobi's mission is to ensure Luke and the rest can escape the Death Star, Vader's mission is to prevent them from escaping). 

But, okay, Kenobi doesn't want to kill Vader because he's the Good Guy. That explains why he begins the fight in a defensive posture, avoids taking some easy one-hit finishes, and so forth. Doesn't explain why Vader fights like an idiot and it doesn't explain the pirouettes.

Vader's mission isn't to prevent them from escaping. It's to make them think they just barely escaped, so they don't think too hard about it and find the tracking beacon on the ship. He's as interested in stalling for time as Kenobi is. That said, there's still a ton in there that's just stupid.

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10 minutes ago, WestRider said:

Vader's mission isn't to prevent them from escaping. It's to make them think they just barely escaped, so they don't think too hard about it and find the tracking beacon on the ship. He's as interested in stalling for time as Kenobi is. That said, there's still a ton in there that's just stupid.

Fair point, I forgot about the "track the princess to the hidden fortress" plot point... But wasn't that plot hatched when they just thought the terrorist scum heroic rebels that had come to rescue Leia were, y'know, regular rebels? I think it's pretty plausible that Darth Vader upon encountering Kenobi would "call an audible" and switch his goals from 'let the princess pretend to escape' to 'capture or kill the second most wanted religious fundamentalist terrorist Jedi Knight in the galaxy'? Especially given the seething hatred of Kenobi that Vader has been nursing for twenty years.

Yeah, he probably would have gotten a stern reprimand from Tarkin, but it wouldn't be out of character for a Sith (especially Vader) to prioritize personal revenge and the Sith/Jedi feud over more conventional and pragmatic military goals. That's the problem with letting evil space-wizards run your society...  

To all you Vader-Haters out there...
 

 

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Terrible news, my fellow nerds, the legendary D.C. Fontana, writer for Star Trek and so much else, has passed away. She’s been writing for film and television since the 1960’s, so it’s be impossible to sum up everything she’s done. But given that one of her notable accomplishments is basically creating the entire backstory and personality for Spock... Well, her place in the pantheon of Nerd Heaven is secure.

For what it’s worth, To Serve All of My Days from the Star Trek: Phase II fan-film project was the last fully produced writing credit in her filmography and one of my favorite episodes of Star Trek. Plus a helluva performance by Walter Koenig.

 

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