InfestedKerrigan Posted April 13, 2020 Author Report Share Posted April 13, 2020 14 hours ago, Raindog said: Only Chuck Norris outlived Brandon, Bruce, and Christopher Lee. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ish Posted April 13, 2020 Report Share Posted April 13, 2020 Paul Rudd and Keanu Reeves are Highlander-style Immortals. This is why they have never appeared in a film together, it’s too risky during the time of the Gathering. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InfestedKerrigan Posted April 13, 2020 Author Report Share Posted April 13, 2020 3 hours ago, Ish said: Paul Rudd and Keanu Reeves are Highlander-style Immortals. This is why they have never appeared in a film together, it’s too risky during the time of the Gathering. You don't know they aren't vampires. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ish Posted April 13, 2020 Report Share Posted April 13, 2020 I’ve personally seen Reeves in direct sunlight. I also have friends and acquaintances who’ve seen Rudd in direct sunlight. So, not exactly the strongest proof, but good enough for me to rule out vampirism. (Bram Stoker style vampires could go out in the daylight, true, but they also couldn’t cross running water or be photographed. Obviously, both men have been filmed and photographed extensively. Also, Keanu surfs.) 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InfestedKerrigan Posted April 13, 2020 Author Report Share Posted April 13, 2020 Daywalkers exist. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InfestedKerrigan Posted April 14, 2020 Author Report Share Posted April 14, 2020 Sparkly vampires can be in overcast Seattle weather. Imagine their Day walkers. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InfestedKerrigan Posted April 14, 2020 Author Report Share Posted April 14, 2020 Also, they are clearly Emotional Vampires, and we know EVs are a day walker breed. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ish Posted April 14, 2020 Report Share Posted April 14, 2020 2 hours ago, InfestedKerrigan said: Sparkly vampires can be in overcast Seattle weather. Imagine their Day walkers. “In real life, vampires only sparkle when they're on fire.” – Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Munkie Posted April 14, 2020 Report Share Posted April 14, 2020 5 hours ago, InfestedKerrigan said: Also, they are clearly Emotional Vampires, and we know EVs are a day walker bread. Though, hopefully not a garlic bread! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InfestedKerrigan Posted April 14, 2020 Author Report Share Posted April 14, 2020 9 hours ago, Munkie said: Though, hopefully not a garlic bread! When I closed the tab, I had a brief moment of "that said breed, right?" Should've trusted my instincts and checked. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Munkie Posted April 14, 2020 Report Share Posted April 14, 2020 2 hours ago, InfestedKerrigan said: When I closed the tab, I had a brief moment of "that said breed, right?" Should've trusted my instincts and checked. That reminds me of a joke I just made up. How come Jewish vampires don't rise from their coffins? They use unleavened dead! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InfestedKerrigan Posted April 14, 2020 Author Report Share Posted April 14, 2020 49 minutes ago, Munkie said: That reminds me of a joke I just made up. How come don't Jewish vampires don't rise from their coffins? They use unleavened dead! It wasn't even 10 yet, and you are already that drunk? lol Poor edits in transcription from brain to page aside, good joke. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InfestedKerrigan Posted April 14, 2020 Author Report Share Posted April 14, 2020 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Munkie Posted April 14, 2020 Report Share Posted April 14, 2020 1 hour ago, InfestedKerrigan said: It wasn't even 10 yet, and you are already that drunk? lol Poor edits in transcription from brain to page aside, good joke. It's my first week back at work, and I need to take the edge off. A little isopropyl alcohol in the coffee... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ish Posted April 14, 2020 Report Share Posted April 14, 2020 It was Easter and a great king decided that he wanted to throw a huge Easter party and invite all the nobles from all the lands near and far. He sent word to all the other kings, and dukes, and barons, and chevaliers to come to his party and to bring with them their traditional Easter dishes so that they could all celebrate together. On the evening of the party, the nobles from lands near and far came bringing sweet Easter breads, smoked hams, delicious pies, fancy tortes, flans dripping with syrup, delicate chocolates, fluffy souffle, and all sorts wonderful things to eat. That was except for one lone vassal. His squire laid out the most humble-looking foods, squares of Matzoh, gefilte fish, horseradish, and cholent. The king stood up, frowning at the cold fish balls and flatbread sitting among the beautiful dainties brought by the other nobles. Then the king asked, “can anyone tell me why this knight is different from all the other knights?” 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InfestedKerrigan Posted April 14, 2020 Author Report Share Posted April 14, 2020 1 hour ago, Munkie said: It's my first week back at work, and I need to take the edge off. A little isopropyl alcohol in the coffee... In this strange age, it's best to start your day with IPA. 181 OR BUST 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ish Posted April 14, 2020 Report Share Posted April 14, 2020 29 minutes ago, InfestedKerrigan said: In this strange age, it's best to start your day with IPA. 181 OR BUST That’s a weird way to spell “whisky.” 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InfestedKerrigan Posted April 14, 2020 Author Report Share Posted April 14, 2020 I missed my hair appointment in Jan, and we're coming up on when I'd be coming in again. I'm tempted to do my hair, but I don't know about getting the lines right, even with clips. So much easier when I just buzzed my hair. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InfestedKerrigan Posted April 14, 2020 Author Report Share Posted April 14, 2020 2 hours ago, Ish said: It was Easter and a great king decided that he wanted to throw a huge Easter party and invite all the nobles from all the lands near and far. He sent word to all the other kings, and dukes, and barons, and chevaliers to come to his party and to bring with them their traditional Easter dishes so that they could all celebrate together. On the evening of the party, the nobles from lands near and far came bringing sweet Easter breads, smoked hams, delicious pies, fancy tortes, flans dripping with syrup, delicate chocolates, fluffy souffle, and all sorts wonderful things to eat. That was except for one lone vassal. His squire laid out the most humble-looking foods, squares of Matzoh, gefilte fish, horseradish, and cholent. The king stood up, frowning at the cold fish balls and flatbread sitting among the beautiful dainties brought by the other nobles. Then the king asked, “can anyone tell me why this knight is different from all the other knights?” Does your families heritage hale from the loins of Jacob? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ish Posted April 14, 2020 Report Share Posted April 14, 2020 14 minutes ago, InfestedKerrigan said: I missed my hair appointment in Jan, and we're coming up on when I'd be coming in again. I'm tempted to do my hair, but I don't know about getting the lines right, even with clips. So much easier when I just buzzed my hair. I was about a month overdue for a haircut when this whole mess started. It’s getting really ridiculous now. Both my kids have compared me to Greg Universe. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raindog Posted April 14, 2020 Report Share Posted April 14, 2020 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Munkie Posted April 15, 2020 Report Share Posted April 15, 2020 I wonder if Neil DeGrasse Tyson has replaced the word "sometimes" with "somespacetimes" when he talks... 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ish Posted April 15, 2020 Report Share Posted April 15, 2020 I asked Heisenberg, he was uncertain. So I asked Schrödinger, he said it could be either way. Hubble told me he’d look into it. Kinsey just shrugged and told me “F—k it.” 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WestRider Posted April 15, 2020 Report Share Posted April 15, 2020 Cats is an Easter story. The entire story is focused on a cultural group celebrating the miracle of resurrection as their yearly ritual. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InfestedKerrigan Posted April 15, 2020 Author Report Share Posted April 15, 2020 23 hours ago, Ish said: I was about a month overdue for a haircut when this whole mess started. It’s getting really ridiculous now. Both my kids have compared me to Greg Universe. I have a Steven shirt, and look(ed) more like Greg. Maybe more so, as I went ahead and buzzed it all off; and I'm wearing a white tank top. And sandles.... I'm no guitar dad, though. Goodbye, dearest mohawk. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.