Ish

This Battle Report article was specifically pitting a pair of competitive, tourney-focused players against each other. I don’t have the magazine with me, so I can’t tell you there names. The lists are perfectly legal and just as valid as any fluffy list I could come up with. Ain’t my cuppa tea, but plenty of people do enjoy this sort of thing...

The Eldar list that was on the other end of this Battle Report was equally nasty bowl of soup: Harlequins, Dark Eldar, and Craftworlders. All min/maxed and cherry picked.

Lemartes is packing his special Crozius Arcanum, it's S6 / AP -2 / D 1d3, and he's got five Attacks... with WS2+ and re-rolling misses because Lemartes is a < Death Company > model that is always within 6" of himself. He's not going to crack open a tank by himself, but he's quite capable of killing half a squad of Tactical Marines, solo. Plus, you know he's going to be operating close to those Death Company...

Iron Hands is the best for this, actually. Take an Iron Hands Space Marine Captain on Bike equip him with a Thunder Hammer and Storm Shield, upgrade the shield to The Shield Eternal relic, and give him the Iron Resolve Warlord Trait. Toughness 5, Wounds 7, Save 3+ / Invulnerable 3++ / Feel No Pain 6+++. Plus, the Shield Eternal halve all damage he takes (rounding up) which makes those FNP rolls even better, since you're rolling less of them.

And yet, the January issue of White Dwarf features a truly nasty bowl of Soup in their battle report: Mephistopheles, two Smash Captains, The Loyal 32, and triple Knights.

Captain Aldo has enough AP to handle anything with seriously heavy armor. That Thunderhammer starts out at a base four attacks at WS 3+ / S8 / AP -3 / D 3. If he decides to go for broke and use the right Relic (Angels Wing) and Warlord Trait (Artisan of War) combo to enhance him, he could end up with four attack (five on the charge) at WS3+ (re-rolling 1s) / S8 (+1 to wound) / AP -3 D 4. That's an average of 8.64 wounds on a friggin' Knight Castellan. Heck, if you were to throw him up against Roboute Guilliman, its an average of 4.32 wounds... and that's without springing for the "fight twice" Stratagem.

I was making a broadly dismissive statement of derision against the entire genre. I’m sure there are probably good slasher flicks, in theory, but it’s undeniable that there are a lot more of the cruddy ones.

There will never not be a market for films about horrible things happening to sexy “teenagers” played by 27 year olds.

Dammit, GW, stop making me want to buy this game too.

Mark Hamill has been criminally under-used as an actor over the years. The man’s amazing, but it seems like Bruce Timm and Paul Dini were the only ones that recognized it.

Okay, so, the model Advances. Then it declares it is going to shoot, we check to see that it has an Assault weapon and can therefore fire it. But, each time a model with Grenades shoots, it may use a Grenade instead of firing any other weapon. Even better, because the Assault weapon rule says you must subtract 1 for any hit rolls made when firing that weapon -- the Assault weapon! Strictly speaking you should be able to throw the Grenade without any penalty! This is pretty clearly not how anyone ever plays this and you'd probably be accused of being That Guy of the highest degree if you did it... But...

It's a pretty common mistake, given that the Grenade Launcher used by the Imperial Guard (the most commonly seen grenade launcher in the game) is an Assault-type weapon. The reason why Battle-Brother Badassius Heroika the 12' tall genetically engineered super-duper-soldier in power-armor can't fire a single-shot under-barrel blooper whilst storming an enemy trench, but Pvt. Snuffy McRedshirt the underfed, underpaid, undertrained, Underhiver draftee can fire his eight-round rotary magazine fed assault blooper whilst storming the same position... Um... You figure it out.

I'd probably go the other way `round: buy the guns for the Stormtalon and Stormhawk from an online bitz seller and buy a complete Nephy off the shelf. The Nephy has missile launchers under the wings, heavy bolters between the engine intakes and the fuselage, and the big central rotary cannon. Swap those heavy bolters out for some Assault Cannons, presto, it's a Stormhawk; Swap those heavy bolters out for some Assault Cannons and replace the central rotary cannon with some sensor gubbins, you've got a Stormtalon.

Sgt. Rock has it half right. Auxiliary Grenade Launchers cost no points, they're limited to one man for every five models in the unit, but they do not change the weapon type. They just change the range (and only the range) of the Frag and Krak Grenades that the Marines carry normally. "Grenade" is a weapon type, like "Assault" or "Rapid Fire," and Grenade doesn't have a 'shoot after advancing' special rule. Now, if I wanted to be That Guy, there's an ambiguity caused by a dangling participle in the wording of the Assault weapon special rule that creates a loophole where a Grenade could be used... But that's waaaay too much of being a pedantic jerk even for me!

The Stormtalon is probably the only thing in the model range more fugly than the Repulsor! I like the looks of the Stormhawk Interceptor a lot more and will probably add one to my collection someday... I do like aircraft, not quite as much as tanks, but, y'know. The Dark Angels' Nephillim Jetfighter is also a gorgeous bit of kit, I'm willing to bet that I could use it as the basis for Stormtalon and Stormhawk conversions. They're all about the same size (the Nephy has a larger wingspan) so the biggest difference is just the weaponry.

++ Battalion Detachment I +5CP [43 PL, 730pts] ++ + No Force Org Slot + **Chapter Selection**: Imperial Fists + HQ + ◦ Primaris Captain w/Power Fist (Warlord): Plasma Pistol, Power Fist, Trait: Storm of Fire, Relic: The Armour Indomitus [ 92 pts ] ◦ Primaris Librarian: Veil of Time, Null Zone; Bolt Pistol, Force Sword [ 101 pts ] + Troops + ◦ Intercessor Squad Alfa: 10x Bolt rifles, 2x Auxiliary Grenade Launcher; Sergeant w/ Power Fist [ 179 Points ] ◦ Intercessor Squad Bravo: 10x Bolt rifles, 2x Auxiliary Grenade Launcher; Sergeant w/ Power Fist [ 179 Points ] ◦ Intercessor Squad Charlie: 10x Bolt rifles, 2x Auxiliary Grenade Launcher; Sergeant w/ Power Fist [ 179 Points ] ++ Battalion Detachment II +5CP [62 PL, 1060pts] ++ + No Force Org Slot + **Chapter Selection**: Imperial Fists + HQ + ◦ Techmarine: Plasma Pistol, Power Axe, Servo-Arm [ 55 pts ] ◦ Primaris Lieutenants [ 149 pts ] ∙ Primaris Lieutenant A: Power Sword ∙ Primaris Lieutenant B: Master-Crafted Stalker Bolt Rifle + Troops + ◦ Intercessor Squad Delta: 5x Stalker Bolt Rifles, 1x Auxiliary Grenade Launcher; Sergeant w/ Chainsword [ 85 pts ] ◦ Intercessor Squad Echo: 5x Stalker Bolt Rifles, 1x Auxiliary Grenade Launcher; Sergeant w/ Chainsword [ 85 pts ] ◦ Intercessor Squad Foxtrot: 10x Auto Bolt Rifles, 2x Auxiliary Grenade Launchers; Sergeant w/ Power fist [ 189 pts ] + Elites + ◦ Redemptor Dreadnought A: 2x Storm Bolters, Heavy Onslaught Gatling Cannon, Icarus Rocket Pod, Onslaught Gatling Cannon [ 161 pts ] ◦ Redemptor Dreadnought A: 2x Storm Bolters, Heavy Onslaught Gatling Cannon, Icarus Rocket Pod, Onslaught Gatling Cannon [ 161 pts ] + Heavy Support + ◦ Hellblaster Squad: 5x Heavy Plasma Incinerator [ 175 pts ] ++ Fortification Network (Imperium - Space Marines) [9 PL, 210pts] ++ + Fortification + ◦ Imperial Bunker: Quad-Qun [ 130 pts ] ◦ Imperial Defence Line: 2x Trench Sections, 2x End Sections [ 80 pts ] ++ Total: [114 PL, 2000pts] ++ Basic "Anvil and Hammer" strategy... The Hellblasters, Primaris Lieutenant B, and the Captain all huddle up in the Imperial Bunker, they're the "anvil". Intercessor Squads Alfa and Bravo each deploy in one of the two Defence Line sections, with Intercessor Squads Delta and Echo behind them. Both Redemptor Dreadnaughts, the Techmarine, and Intercessor Squad Foxtrot are my "hammer," taking the fight to the enemy. Intercessor Squad Charlie and the Librarian are my "flex" squads, going where-ever I think they'll be most needed.

I think, at this juncture, I'll just focus on building up the infantry assets of my Company. Maybe in a year or two when that's all done, GW will have either released a new Primaris transport, relented on allowing Primaris Marines to use RhinoBacks, or the third-party conversion bitz market will have developed ways for me to de-fugly the Repulsor.

Maybe I can sway you with just these four words: "Sergeant Rock: Parachutist Commando."

Look, Pax, this should be easy to understand... I want to have my cake and eat it too. What's so hard to grasp about that? 😉

Yeah, they were basically "Citadel Miniatures' Elysians" already, with better guns and slightly better armor, as a trade-off to the fact that the Elysians were slightly better at jumping out of planes. Tempestus Drop Force makes them just as good at the jumping out of planes bit, at the cost of a couple of CP... Which even an "elite" Imperial Guard army can still easily have 15+ of in a 2,000 Point game. Since 8th Edition no longer lets you have a total "null deployment" army -- half your units and half your points must start on the table -- some Lascannon and H-K Missile Sentinels might actually be a worthwhile investment. They can start on the table, shoot the heck out of any enemy Anti-Air assets... and then you cue the Wagner on Turn Two. Hojotoho! Hojotoho! You can model the Sentinels to look like Drop Sentinels and just say they landed earlier and walked onto the table. (Heck, you could also run an Elysian Detachment with actual Drop Sentinels if you wanted.) Scions don't actually need a Valkryie to jump out of, they can deep strike all on their own so you don't even have to include the model. Great in lower point games and potentially useful even in large games when you do have several of them. Will all of your models be riding in Valks? Will some be dropping in on their own? Will there be a mix? Will some start gasp! on foot!? I have zero clue as to how "competitive" the Scions are. But they sure as heck should be fun to play.

Vigilis Defiant also includes a Specialist Detachment for the Scions, the Tempestus Drop Force which has a lot of nice tricks in it if you're into the idea of having your toy soldiers jumping out of perfectly good airplanes. 1 CP unlocks the whole Specialist Detachment*, getting you some tasty Relics, a nice Warlord Trait, and three killer Stratagems. Having a Valkyrie fire overwatch when one of your infantry squads gets charged? Yes please. Having those Overwatch shots hit on a 4+? Holy s--t. * Unlike the Primaris Marine one where you have to pay 1 CP for Specialist Detachment then pay to upgrade each squad then pay to use the stratagems. Oi.

In terms of actual cash money, the best deals* at the moment, are probably Primaris Space Marines or Death Guard. Both come in the main Dark Imperium starter set and about a half dozen other sets like First Strike or Know No Fear. But you probably knew that already... And if you don't want Primaris Marines, well, I can't fault you for that. Sure, its what I'm collecting now but I understand the appeal of not being the 24,601st Space Marine player in town. The Start Collecting Militarum Tempestus box set ($85 MSRP) contains approximately 400± Points, a Lord Commissar (HQ) ten regular Scions (Troops, also configurable as the Command Squad [Elites]) and a Taurox Prime (Dedicated Transport with big gun, also configurable as a standard Taurox). This is a pretty good deal, the regular Scions are $35 per five-man pack, the Taurox is $48. If you want to be a bit cheaper about things (and don't plan on playing in GW's shops) you should look at the Custom Platoons from Anvil Industries. Their Gothic Void torsos, armored arms and legs, Beret Heads (with gas masks or without), and Tesla Disintegrator weapons make great Tempestus Scions. The Platoon bundle I linked to is twenty-five men for £69.50 (roughly $90 USD). Depending on how you load them, that's approximately 600± Points... If you want to be really cheap on things, just use the ubiquitous plastic Cadian Imperial Guard (which you can find by the bucket-load on eBay), apint their armor in with some golden bling instead of camouflage, and swap their boring helmets out for some fancy looking heads from Anvil, Victoria, Maxi Mini, Puppets War, etc. Maybe splash some of the "real" GW Scions into the squads as Sergeants, Commanders, and other important muckety-mucks. * Retail anyway. Sometimes lightning strikes out of the blue and you can snag something amazing on eBay or Craigslist.

What, no Guilliman?

I know I’m handicapping myself by going purely Primaris... But, frankly, I kinda see it as “future proofing” as well.

The point of a battle taxi isn’t just speed. It’s a combination of speed and armor. If it takes two turns for an APC to get to a point where it disgorges it’s cargo and that cargo could have walked the same distance in two turns but the APC could take hits and stay alive that would have killed some of the walking men, then the APC has done its job.