Participant Report, AZ-432-H459%!dek, Imperial year XXXMLXXMLXL "May His Golden Light Shine Forever as it Dribbles Down the Sewage Pipe""
"So there we wuz down in level 347-J sub FK-21. Ya know, that place with the big tower and promethium pipes all around it? The Shift Boss heard there was some walking meat down there. What? Are you for real? OK. Fine. HUMONS living down there. So he decides that we need some more workers for that new shaft we opened up over in the Ash Plain mountains. So me and the boys get all ready when the boss gives us a bit of a surprise: SHE was going to be comin' wit us. Huh? You don't know? That crazy b***h with the chainsword and xeno mask? We was about to promote a new Shift Boss, if you know what I mean, when he says Archie is coming. We still ain't happy, even with Archie Murder Bot going with us, so he says fine, she won't bring the mask. We grumble about it for show and all, and then we head on down.
Whens we get there, there is this gang already down there. Never seen 'em before, but the Shift Boss ain't too worried, so we ain't either. We start grabin' the walking me... I mean, humons promisin' em a great live, three squares a day, etc. etc. These humons must'ta been in some sad shape, 'cuz they came a runnin to us. Me and Jonesy start roundin' them up when that other gang starts screaming 'bout sacrifice and "Chaos is the way!" or some such, and then they start shootin'. Woo wee! Suddenly, things started to get interestin. Well, that crazy b***h with the chainsword gutted one of 'em right away, then ran screaming at another one. She must'a tripped or something, cuz next thing I know, she's on the floor. Then there was some crazy, spooky lights and this guy in robes... ya, I know. Everyone wears robes, but these ones was different! He had a big stick too, and some kinda critter with 'em. Well, Bob over there lights 'em up with his flame thrower, and we all giggle thinkin' those robes are gonna make a pretty fire, when the flames went all funny or something, and the guy just walks through the fire. All a sudden, the Shift Boss is down, and so's Bob. Me and Jonesy, we be thinkin' it's time to be going. That's when we heard "Archie, online. Archie protect Samantha," in that weird, electronic voice o hiz. Well, Archie shuffles on over to that robed guy who's speakin' in some weird tongues thing and making gestures and such at Archie, but Archie don't seem no bothered 'cuz he picked up that robed guy and squeezed. I swear I saw his eyeballz pop out right before his head popped clean off! It wasn't all peaches and cream though. One of them bastards took a shot at Archie and managed to dent him up. Then one of them crazy dudes with tatoos all over his face charged Archie. Heh. Even the dumbest dummy down in the mines knows better then that! Archie grabbed 'em, then started pulin'. Haven't heard no sounds like that since, well, never really to my reckonin'. Someone's gonna have to clean up Archie, and it ain't gonna be me. Well, bout this time, Jonesy's got the last walking meat... sorry. Humon rounded up, so wes decided to leave. "
Great game against Brian's Chaos Cultests, though I forgot to use a bunch of skills on my Champions and Leader. I'll try and remember next time. I just couldn't roll worth a darn in the early to mid game on the wound dice. I was really thinking Brian had me when his Sorcerer guy showed up and totally ignored my flame thrower, not to mention up to this point, every time I shot, I'd roll an Out of Ammo and promptly fail my ammo check. At least I had the card that allowed me during the end phase to make an ammo check for all my guys. I lost my leader to some bad save rolls on my part, and an awesome wound dice roll on Brian's part. He's only out for a game, though it means I'm playing my next game leaderless. The star of the game was Archie the AMBOT. On paper, he doesn't look like much, but I forget this isn't 40K, and everyone has a T3, 6+, 1 wound. Suddenly, his S5 and 4's across the board make him a bad mofo! Post game treated me very well, and now I need to get to paintin'.