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Was trying to explain gaming to an uninitiated person....


spacemarinejunkie

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I was sitting there explaining the hobby to this lady I work with and was getting through to some extent when she asked if gamers have girl friends. I almost got pissed. "Of course they do." I exclaimed. Some of them even play the game, most, if interested at all, tend to be more on the modeling and painting side of the hobby. I my self have only been around one or two ladies that actually played. Even in the big tournaments I've been to I haven't seen many women play the game." This seemed to appease her curiosity. 

 

Is it even worth it to explain the game to the uninitiated with their somewhat backwards attitude about gamers and the gaming we do?

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Sure it is, the more you know! (cue GI Joe infomercial)

 

Anytime you can correct a stereotype it's probably worth doing.  

 

It's also good as a jumping off point into how we might encourage more involvement from the ladies in the hobby. I was thinking about gaming the other day, and realized that while I know plenty of ladies that love to boardgame, play RPGs, and even play card games, miniature war-gaming remains a sausage-fest (at least in my experience.)  I think anything we can do to make folks realize that it's an open, fun pastime and make it welcoming is worth the O2 expenditure.

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I'd say it depends on what you are hoping to accomplish.

 

It's easy to pretend that women don't get the hobby or gaming in general but it's time to get over that.  Women are now the most relevant electronic gaming demographic if you look at the statistics.  The Entertainment Software Association (the group that owns and runs E3) releases statistics about gaming every year.  In 2012 their report (http://www.theesa.com/facts/pdfs/esa_ef_2012.pdf) showed women as 47-48% of the gaming market.  This year's report is just out (http://www.theesa.com/facts/pdfs/ESA_EF_2014.pdf) and it shows that women over the age of 18 have now replaced boys under 18 as the dominant game purchasers in terms of revenue (p3) and that purchases are evenly split 50/50 in general (p4).

 

Think about the cartoons you've seen (and possibly poopoo'd or ignored) like DorkTower - http://www.dorktower.com/2014/08/21/games-for-girls-dork-tower-21-08-14/.  There's a reason for this and along with the number of well-known women coming out of the closet and admitting that they are gamers it's going to cause some major changes in the gaming landscape.  Try googling "female friendly gaming" and see how many *pages* of sites come up.  Check out some of the information about how women are treated in game and hobby stores.

 

What is my point? Shutting out people who *might* be the uninitiated because you don't want to deal with their reaction is a sure way to make sure that the hobby dies.  Even a polite conversation at a high level with someone feigning interest will do more for the hobby and the perception of gamers by the uninformed than a defensive brush-off.  It's also possible that you will find someone who is as into gaming as you are and is honestly interested in the hobby.

 

(Many posts while I was composing...  Fluger's article is based on the 2014 ESA report.)

 

TL;DR - Shutting out the uninformed is a sure way to guarantee that they remain uninformed and stifle the growth or survival of the hobby, not to mention perpetuating the negative stereotypes of antisocial gamers.

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I got my mother in law hooked on angry birds, she's aced every version of that game, 3 eggs on all leves.

 

In my experience, women look at games differently than men do.  Men, by their nature, are competitive.  Women are more cooperative.  It's much easier to convince my wife to play a game of Zombicide with me than it is to get her to play and versus board game.

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Yeah I always "let my geek flag fly" and try to be as open to possible new players as can be. I view everyone as a potential player!

 

This has led me to the same conclusions as above the women I know prefer cooperative games or games without direct conflict there can be a winner bit of it is at the expense of another player it falters.

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In my experience, women look at games differently than men do.  Men, by their nature, are competitive.  Women are more cooperative.  It's much easier to convince my wife to play a game of Zombicide with me than it is to get her to play and versus board game.

 

 

This has led me to the same conclusions as above the women I know prefer cooperative games or games without direct conflict there can be a winner bit of it is at the expense of another player it falters.

 

I was thinking about it and this was my initial opinion but then I stopped and thought about it some more...  I know I am a competitive person and I tend to seek out other players who are competitive.  I want to play games well and have opponents who make me work to improve my play.  But that's me and even then that does not cover how I play all games.  I strongly suspect that there are a large number of *men* who quit gaming because they don't want to participate in the competitive environment and are not considered manly if they want to play but not be competitive.

 

Looking at my own gaming group I know people who play games because they are gamers and they are supposed to enjoy boardgames but every time we play they wind up miserable...  Why?  Because they are more dedicated to some ideal or compulsion than they are to actually improving their game play (the most common examples are a pair of brothers, one of whom has a fear of going broke and will therefore latch onto every resource he can whether he can use them or not and the other who fears random elements and simply avoids every random element he can).  I find that when playing with them a coop game is always a better option just so *I* can enjoy the evening.

 

As such, I am lead to believe that most of the stereotypes *I* think of for gamers have to do with selection bias in the folks that I choose to game with.

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I explain if they ask. I find more artistic ppl have a respect for the hobby aspect of the game.

 

I guess im slightly unique in that I dont play video games - I want a real living person across a table that I can shake hands with, joke with and talk smack to and share an experience with them. Crappy microphones and FPSs dont do that for me.

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I explain if they ask. I find more artistic ppl have a respect for the hobby aspect of the game.

 

I guess im slightly unique in that I dont play video games - I want a real living person across a table that I can shake hands with, joke with and talk smack to and share an experience with them. Crappy microphones and FPSs dont do that for me.

 

I agree with you about wanting other human beings to play with, at least in some situations.  I find that a decent microphone and any of a number of VoIP programs make it easy to communicate well enough to joke, talk smack and share experiences with folks.  The other thing I find about computer games is that I am exposed to wildly varied groups of people, many of whom I would never know if I were just going down to the LGS with the selection bias that implies.  As a matter of fact, this weekend I am hanging out with friends from around the US who are in Seattle for PAX and could not get full weekend passes and planning to do things I would never have thought to do myself simply because these friends from online are not at all like the people I normally hang out with.

 

I *do* find that I prefer coop environments when playing online...  Things like raiding in MMOs or playing turn-based strategy games...  Like you I avoid the FPS games for the most part.

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My wife hates but tolerates my gaming. The few times we get her to play a board game she is super competitive though.  At this point in our life (over half together), she has taken the approach of let him have his little hobby and it will be easier in life.

 

Some people you can never get into it or help them really understand.  But it is always worth trying.

 

Now my kids on the other hand, LOVE GAMING.  Any type...

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It's great ammunition for when someone is trying to monopolize MY time with a bunch of boring stories. When I smell that endless anecdote about football or grandchildren or marijuana legalization coming on I quickly compose a retort about how grey magic is the superior choice for fast cavalry control of table quarters. This will often save me hours. Do note, however that it can backfire badly when used against a fellow gamer. In that case I recommend changing the subject to girls. 

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I was sitting there explaining the hobby to this lady I work with and was getting through to some extent when she asked if gamers have girl friends. I almost got pissed. "Of course they do." I exclaimed. Some of them even play the game, most, if interested at all, tend to be more on the modeling and painting side of the hobby. I my self have only been around one or two ladies that actually played. Even in the big tournaments I've been to I haven't seen many women play the game." This seemed to appease her curiosity. 

 

Is it even worth it to explain the game to the uninitiated with their somewhat backwards attitude about gamers and the gaming we do?

Most of my friends don't play this game and many aren't of the right mind to even follow such an explanation (not stupid, just different interests).

 

Anyway, I do explain it. I describe it as chess with a tape measure instead of a board, then I expand from there. Some enjoy the explanation, some stop me at chess.

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