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Yarbicus

Rate the Last Movie You Saw

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Hobbit 2:

Disappointed with hobbit 1, then started re-watching it in boredom and now think I may have been too hard on it initially. Hobbit 1 was pretty good the second or third time through.  Hobbit 2 was the same. Disappointed at first, will probably like it the second or third time (DVD). This one grows on you.

 

Star Wars the Phantom Menace:

Seen it a bunch of times when it was newer, but this was the first in a long while. A truly terrible movie. Many of the graphics look more dated than the initial VHS star wars movies - the overuse of computer animation really hurts this film's longevity. The acting and casting is very lackluster. Though, I didn't find jar-jar as bad this time around, perhaps it's all the southpark?

 

I will note that the phantom menace is very similar to Hobbit 1, in that they are both prequels being made post-sequel. I found them both lacking in this respect, as it's clear that both movies are marketed to people that are assumed to have seen the sequels already. Starting at phantom menace, no one would ever get to a new hope, they'd just turn it off. Hobbit 1 was better, but it still has that elongated starting where someone new to the series would not really understand or enjoy the frodo/birthday party references at the start. I do hope that they make an altered start version of Hobbit 1 when they are all released, as hobbit 1 is a lousy starting movie for the Peter Jackson "JRR tolkien" movie set, despite being the first.

 

The Wolverine

Just lacking. Perhaps if I knew more of the comic related, it would be slightly more enjoyable. The film wasn't terrible, it just wasn't impressive in any way. Very bland. On the other hand, I wasn't offended and they didn't really have any major faults. It was just bland.

-Pax

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Frozen- Beware, if you don't like musicals this is not the movie for you. Otherwise, Westrider's description is pretty right on.

Started to stream it, got a headache at the high-pitch intro music, turned it off. I might just need sleep, but it was really getting to me.

-Pax

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Found out that Solomon Kane was on Netflix. Glad I got around to seeing it, but also glad I didn't drop 10 bucks to see it in a theatre.

 

One of the comments on it remarked that it felt more like a double-length premiere episode for a TV show than a standalone movie, and I think that has some merit to it.

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Found out that Solomon Kane was on Netflix. Glad I got around to seeing it, but also glad I didn't drop 10 bucks to see it in a theatre.

I couldn't agree more. While it's nothing amazing, it's worth checking out especially for Robert E. Howard fans.

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Winter Quarter Schlock Cinema time

Reptilicus : 7/10 : Danish godzilla rip off with a marionette giant lizard thing. Oh he we came upon this ice preserved lizard while drilling in Lapland. Oh hey look the tissue appears to be regenerating after an accidental thawing, hey lets see what it grows into even though we estimate to be ginormous cause you know 'SCIENCE!' what could possibly go wrong. It was shot in both Danish and English with mostly the same actors. The general does a competent american accent. There are random bits of totally wooden delivery and scenes that seem to almost lead into 'oh it is going to be that kind of movie, those liberal Danes' but for better or worse doesn't. It does have good plot device in that any part of the monster blown off would eventually grow into a new one so blowing it up is not an option.

 

You Tube blatant copyright infringement watching.

Caltiki The Undying Monster : 7/10 : Blob like creature made to grow by radiation and an implausible comet... anyway good photography and supposedly most of the directing by a fresh on the scene Mario Bava. Some nice gore scenes in black and white. It was shot to look like a British scifi/horror film but way more graphic gore than anything else I have seen for 1959.

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Second the opinion on Solomon Kane. Enjoyable, and definitely has its moments. Some scenes are just right on visually.  Not great, though.

 

Speaking of 'not great', just saw "The Wolverine", and have to say I was disappointed except for one area in which I was solidly blown away - I have not since that much ridiculous ninja action since the late1980s!

 

tick1haiku.jpg

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The Leech Woman : 6/10 : So yeah Doctor obsessed with finding a way to make the old young again, married to an alcoholic older codependent wife he hates cause she is older than him... Enter 140 year old test subject with a secret powder to hold back aging and a secret to a lost tribe in Africa where she says they have the secret to become young again. What could possibly go wrong. Anyway everyone in this film is pretty evil and rotten. Some good lines but sadly no leeches of any sort. Colleen Gray and Gloria Talbot are definitely easy on the eyes. The MST3K version is probably a better version.

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Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull : 8/10 : I dunno why people dissed on this one. So it was commies and aliens which fits in well with the 50s just fine. Other than the absurdity of the lead lined fridge it wasn't any more crazy than The Ark and Nazis, Thugees and miracle stones, and the Holy Grail. I enjoyed it.

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Jayne Mansfield's Car: 8.5/10

Great performances from some veteran actors (Robert Duvall, Billy Bob Thornton, Kevin Bacon, John Hurt) made the movie for me. Interesting story about 2 different families (1 Southern American, 1 English) coming together for a funeral. 

 

Kickass 2: 7/10

Decent storyline, not half as interesting as the first one was, but OK for a rental. I wished it had more action sequences; it seemed like this one focused more on themes and character development than the first one. 

 

The Lone Ranger: 7.5/10

This one was surprising to me. I was genuinely entertained by the movie, but had issues with the plot and characterization. Really thought they could have done better for such a classic hero, but I guess all big-budget popcorn movies end up being similar. Also, I feel like Tonto shouldn't have been portrayed so much as a buffoon and it should have been a Native American actor in the role. 

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Solomon Kane 5/10

 

Man, was I let down. On it's own merit, the movie was worth a Netflix watch. As a Solomon Kane film ... the movie was sadsville. Gone was the brooding, stoic Solomon Kane of the books, the one infused with a grim determination that was nearly supernatural. Instead, we got one of the most angst-ridden and emotional characters I've seen. I get that they were trying to do an origin story, but I'd rather they portray Kane as he was in the books. The movie took place, apparently, before he was the Kane we know and love. This Kane gave up at the slightest hint of failure, and was all whiny about killing people. Plus, not enough pistols.   :sad:

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Solomon Kane 5/10

 

Man, was I let down. On it's own merit, the movie was worth a Netflix watch. As a Solomon Kane film ... the movie was sadsville. Gone was the brooding, stoic Solomon Kane of the books, the one infused with a grim determination that was nearly supernatural. Instead, we got one of the most angst-ridden and emotional characters I've seen. I get that they were trying to do an origin story, but I'd rather they portray Kane as he was in the books. The movie took place, apparently, before he was the Kane we know and love. This Kane gave up at the slightest hint of failure, and was all whiny about killing people. Plus, not enough pistols.   :sad:

I am not particularly familiar with the source so I probably enjoyed it more.  Mostly I was struck by the fact that NO ONE ELSE MAKES MOVIES EVEN REMOTELY LIKE THIS!  That alone is worth some points.

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Elysium - 8/10

     Was I the only one who wondered how Matt Damon did it all while only have 4 days to live while his body was falling a part from radiation poisoning?

Else I thought it was a good movie, just a little questionable on how he managed to do all that while his body was failing.

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I also wondered how he kept going from about to die to totally kicking ass... I mean, strength is one thing, radiation poisoning so bad your organs are failing is another... and it won't really be helped by an exosuit... 

 

Saw Resolution last night - a solid 8 or maybe even 9 out of ten. A very creepy story that took it's time and genuinely surprised me.  A good bet for fans of David Lynch.

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Elysium

 

Saw this movie just now. 4/10 tops. Predictable plot with lacking resolution. Music tried so hard to make it feel more epic, but was unnecessary to movie, a single piano would have been enough for the whole film. Villains were very simple, lacking in both depth and originality. Even characters were lacking. Visually, the film was fine in costumes and animation, but nothing to write home about. Acting was also fine, but nothing special.

 

A bad movie.

-Pax

 

EDIT: My brother, who usually disagrees with my ratings of movies, gave it a 6/10. His justification is that he doesn't regret the time spent watching it, but it was a bad movie.

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Finally got around to seeing Desolation of Smaug. It was fun, but felt like it was trying too hard in places, kind of pulled me out of it at a couple of points. Also, Peter Jackson still doesn't know how to do a Wizard's Duel properly. That looked like a NIN music video from the 90s or something.

 

Also, Lee Pace has very impressive eyebrows. Those were total scene-stealers.

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Hunger Games 1: 7/10

 

I didn't see it initially because it seemed like a shameless copy of battle royale, the manga, which is probably a copy of something else too. Pretty much the same exact plot and ending. A tad different, but manga was targeted at a Japanese audience and this was clearly the "white" version...

 

That said, it was a very good movie. I can certainly picture a 8-10 rating if I considered it original. 7/10 is strong for a shameless copy.

-Pax

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